Category: food and drink

This wind broke down my bathroom wall earlier. Then again, I did have a strong curry for tea.

I’d just finished eating a meal at a very cold and grotty pub when the waitress came over and said “How was the steak sir?” , “Very well done” , i replied , “Thanks” she said “We’ve never had a compliment before”

I’m touring China just now and the “Yorkie bars” here taste a lot more meaty than back home.

My wife has started a new fine dining meals-on-wheels service. It’s a la cart.

My life sucks, everyone I know is either getting, a promotion, a pay rise or laid. I’m getting a coffee and it’s not even for me.

In many ways, the food different cultures eat represent them. Italian food is smart and sophisticated English food is robust, simple, and warm. American food is over the top and grand. Mexican food smells.

Sky News: Cadburys new owner Kraft is to slash up to 400 jobs from the Somerdale factory in Somerset. Kraft have said that the factory will now be re-located to Poland. What’s the problem then? Does it matter if the factory is in Luton or Somerset?

I’ve just eaten my lunch after I’d managed to drop it all over the pavement. Admittedly, it was there slightly longer than 3 seconds, but what do you expect when it’s soup.

McDonald’s. Slowing down a rapists prey since 1940.

They say,”It takes 2 to Tango”.Yet I finished one at lunch without any drama whatsoever.

I’ve been attempting alternative methods of cooking recently. I baked an egg, fried a pie and grilled a lasagne. I was going to try boiling haddock but that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish!

I’m having dinner at McDonalds tonight. I don’t need reservations, but I can’t help having them.

I was disgusted to learn that hot dogs are allowed to contain some skin meat. Now I stick to the kosher hot dogs; they have no skin.

I’ve decided to become a boat builder. I just put a kitten, egg whites and sugar into a blender. Going to make a catermeringue.

I got chased into an alleyway by a bunch of yoghurts… I was Cornered…