Category: food and drink

Just bought a trifle for easter from tesco. There was a little notice saying the instructions were on the underside. Instructions: 1. DO NOT TURN OVER Every little helps.

Is that a banana in your pocket or is it another type of fruit or something?

Cakes————–99p. Upside down cakes———66p

I got a raw deal yesterday. As much sushi as you like for 3.

I know its traditional to throw rice at weddings but I was walking past an Indian do in Bradford at the weekend so I chucked half rice half chips.

McDonald’s. About as much nutritional value as taking a dump in your own mouth.

Took my wife to a posh French Restaurant last night. The waiter asked, “Have you ever tried frog?” I said, “I’ve had a Freddo.”

My wife put a gun to my head and said, ”Do you love me?” ”Depends, what’s for dinner?” I said. ”There’s a gun to your head and all you care about is dinner!” she said angrily. ”Yes!” I replied, ”With your cooking I might just want you to pull the trigger!”

Apparently, your supposed to eat five fruit or veg a day to stay reasonably healthy. A girl I use to know did just that. The only problem was the oranges were mades by Terry’s

Whats the difference between a black woman and Marmite? I would lick out a jar of Marmite

Do you think emo kids ever order happy meals in McDonald’s?

“Once you go black, you never go back!” I shouted as I threw my 3 week old bananas in the bin…..

I’ve just split up a fight between a lemon and a lime. They’re such bitter rivals.

I never buy Corn Flakes Because ‘I’ve forgotten how good they taste’. I can’t see how this situation is ever going to change.

Pot Noodles. For best results, put back on the shelf.