Category: fashion

I wasn’t very happy with the clothes order that came through the mail today. They were a bit small and didn’t really fit, but I think I’ll still keep them. They were for next door anyway.

To get the creases out of your clothes, you’ve got to strike while the iron’s hot.

I went to a Asthma Awareness fashion show last week. I was shocked. Even the fat chicks were breathtaking.

Brantano customers. Throw your purchases away and wear the boxes instead. They’ll be harder-wearing, more stylish and better fitting.

Men in Uggs….. Muggs!

I buy all my genes from Primark. So I too, can be a hard-working young Asian.

“Returning stolen goods” is the new black.

What do Dreadlocks and children have in common? If you play around with them too much they get messed up.

It has just occurred to me the obvious similarities between Kary Price and Frankenstien’s monster. Both are unnatural attempts at beauty that went horribly wrong, and are now left to wonder aimlessly with a bellow average intelligence and hated by everyone.

A mate of mine walked into the pub with a fish on his head. The fish was positioned quite high on his head with its broad tail hanging down the back of his neck like a curtain. “Evening Dave!” I said, “Nice mullet.”

Standing in line behind an American woman at McDonald’s. She’s wearing those jeans, you know the ones with the patch on the back pocket that says ” Guess”. I’m thinking 450, maybe 500 pounds.

If being a size double 0 is fashionable, then why don’t we see starving Ethiopians on the catwalk?

I thought I saw a mobile circus today. Turns out it was just a fat bird in a maxi dress.

I was shopping in Primark today when I thought; “Wait a minute, I have money”

The Daily mail have described Alexander McQueen as ‘the most influential designer of his generation’ Here’s hoping this influence continues and Sarah Jessica Parker, Victoria Beckham and Elton John all follow his lead?