Category: fashion

Newcastle United’s new away strip looks just like a deck chair. Ironically, there will be thousands of them at Blackpool next season.

Modelling : A career for those born without talent..

So, there’s been a lot of controversy surrounding clothing chains promoting the latest in pre-teen underwear fashion lately. That’s why it’s gonna take a pretty brave company to help market my latest super-tight swimming trunks aimed at 10-year-old boys. I’ll call them “Peedos”.

The wife asked how I liked her new dress ” looked better with the potatoes in ” wasn’t what she wanted to hear. Back on the sofa tonight

My wife roped me into a fancy dress party then started to nag me about possible costumes and whether we dress up as a pair. “Listen.” I said, exasperated, “You don’t need a costume. I’ll dress up as Crockett and we can go together as Miami Vice.”

What’s soft and slippery? A slipper.

I saw a guy getting mugged today. I was going to help him, but then I saw he was wearing chinos.

Apparently it’s good to be seen in expensive clothes. But when I went out, everyone just laughed at the price tag dangling from my collar.

How do you know a woman is wearing tights? Her knees swell up when she farts.

You know these fashions with skinny jeans. I can’t get into them.

My favourite way to dress is in all black. My fashion sense is second to nun.

NEWS: Fashion icon dead… Oh no, Timmy Mallet hasn’t croaked it has he?

I went out with some chaps from work last night. I suppose I could have worn normal trousers instead.

I went to go buy some camaflauge trousers today… but I couldnt find any.

Why do women feel the need to wear expensive designer clothes in the hope of impressing men? No straight guy in the history of the world has ever turned to his mates and said, ‘check out the Gucci on that girl’.