When my mum told me I sho …
When my mum told me I should increase my iron intake I took her advice. She was horrified when she caught me sucking on her discarded tampons.
Continue ReadingWhen my mum told me I should increase my iron intake I took her advice. She was horrified when she caught me sucking on her discarded tampons.
Continue ReadingYesterday my wife asked me to make her a sandwich. I laughed so hard and split a rib. One of hers.
Continue ReadingWe buried my mother-in-law today. As the coffin lowered into the ground I stepped forward and said a little prayer. “Thank you God”.
Continue ReadingJust got back from my Mum’s cremation. I’m glad that’s all done and dusted
Continue ReadingI have had the mother in law down for the weekend. I’ll put her back on the roof tomorrow.
Continue ReadingWomen have periods. Men suffer from them!
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend told me I was a selfish lover. I said, “well, your mother did warn you.”
Continue ReadingI’m going to put an end to female patronisation. So don’t any of you ladies worry your pretty little heads
Continue ReadingMy wife’s a real peach! Round and hairy.
Continue ReadingFor about ten years now, it’s been my job to give my gran her pill every day. She hates taking her pill, so I mix it in with her morning coffee. It’s tedious making coffee and putting the pill in every morning, but if she got pregnant I’d never forgive myself.
Continue ReadingWhen I was younger, I really wanted a skateboard but my parents couldn’t afford one. So one morning, I woke up early and went to the garage. I got some wood and some nails… And beat my parents to death. My foster parents bought me 5 skateboards.
Continue ReadingOn a sunday afternoon, me and the wife usually take a look around the dogs home. For some reason, the mother in law loves showing us around her bungalow.
Continue ReadingIf I had a pound for every time my father called me a failure I wouldn’t be a failure anymore
Continue ReadingIf it wasn’t for the likes of my grandad, we’d all be talking German now! He really was a terrible Language Teacher.
Continue ReadingYou know you’re getting old when Miss Marple starts looking hot
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