Category: family

On a train from London to Manchester an American was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. “You English are too stiff. You set yourself apart too much. You think your stiff upper lips make you above the rest of us. Look at me… Im me. I have Italian blood, French blood, […]

My dad was a taxi driver, then he just left, with no indication.

Just as a joke I told the kids they were adopted. You should have seen their faces! I’ve never seen them so happy.

My parents couldn’t tell the time. When I’d come home from a date, they’d always say, “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

My dad’s recently been hitting the booze every night. I like to call him alcopop

My mum text me using a ‘;)’ today… I’m hoping she didn’t realise that’s only really used for flirting… however, when I read the text back ‘oh you forgotten your key 😛 I’ll leave the back open ;)’ I did get scared.

I’ve just seen my daughter masturbating for the first time. I’m only joking, it’s my favourite dvd.

Ladbrokes should be called Brokelads

I wet the bed until I was 16. I didn’t have a problem. I just think It’s important not to raise your parents expectations unnecessarily

Timeline, putting your life in order, because you are incapable of doing it yourself.

Portugals Nani Out Of World Cup Im sure the rest of portugals family are gutted, especially the grandad

I like taking my 6 year-old daughter to swimming lessons. As a parent, I think it’s a vital skill that could save her life one day. But for now, I’ll enjoy the camel-toe.

My grandma once told me friends come and go but your family will always be there…. A week later she died

‘Happy Birthday Google!’ My Dad screamed down the phone.. I hung up and instantly burst in to tears… I wish he could get my birthday right one year!

My daughter is doing her masters at university. Well, let’s face it, that’s the only way she’s going to get decent marks.