Category: family

I’m not ready for parenthood. I don’t do hats.

Me and my mum share something special. Our first child.

My Daughter and I have a really close relationship and she can get very emotional…sometimes when we’re alone she gets a lump in her throat.

A boy was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa what are you doing?” he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here […]

Your Mom’s so black, she went to night school and got marked absent

As it nears fathers day I thought I’d get my dad a football shirt, now to untie it from the lampost

After carrying my daughter Amy out of the burning house I knew I had to go back in. I fought my way through the flames, kicked the door of the bathroom down and saw my ginger son unconcious in the empty room. At which point I realised that Amy must have left her Barbie in […]

Went shopping with my other half earlier and she went to try some dresses on and wanted my opinion. “Do I look good in this one?” She asked “Nope” “This one?” “nope” and so i went on for half and hour until she finally said “Surely I must look good in something?” “Yes” I said […]

I saw my daughter about to go out. She was wearing little more than a training bra and a miniskirt, so I said to her, “Louise, I can’t let you go out dressed like that.” “Why not?” she asked. Knowing that she could be very naive, it was hard for me to say anything but, […]

My gran’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse. The weird thing is, she can remember what happened twenty years ago but she can’t remember what happened ten minutes ago! If she lives another twenty years I’m so busted.

You know your parents don’t love you when you receive Limewire vouchers for your birthday.

Just found out I was conceived via ‘Artificial inlemonation’. Im not bitter though..

I always used to be much better at FIFA than my son and beat him every day. Now he’s improved immensely, and we’re more equal when we play. I still beat him every day though. It’s just that the beatings are much more severe if he dares win at FIFA.

Chris Benoit is my biological dad. Thank God he didn’t know

I used to get a lot of sun stroke… Until my Dad died.