I said to my son, “Sorry …
I said to my son, “Sorry I didn’t get you anything for your birthday, but on a totally un-related subject, you’re adopted.”
Continue ReadingI said to my son, “Sorry I didn’t get you anything for your birthday, but on a totally un-related subject, you’re adopted.”
Continue ReadingMy wife is a travel agent for guilt trips.
Continue ReadingMy children take after my wife. They’re imaginary.
Continue ReadingMe and my family buried my Grandma this morning… Her jokes just weren’t good enough
Continue ReadingMy wife has just had baby, were both so happy! But the most amazing thing is that my little boy,thanks to a genetic disease, was born black. It does not bother me one bit I still love my boy. I told my mate Leeroy about it and he seemed just as shocked as I was!
Continue ReadingAfter searching for what seemed most of my life, I finally found my long lost brother. Now it’s my turn to hide.
Continue ReadingAthletes run in my family..
Continue ReadingI worry about my nan. If she’s alone and falls, does she make a noise? I’m joking, She’s dead.
Continue ReadingI thought that mentioning that I had a young family at a recent social event would break the ice and help people warm to me, but when I introduced my 11 year old wife, the horrified look on their faces suggested otherwise.
Continue ReadingI’m not saying that my parents hated me as a child, but my first christmas gift I can remember from them was a pair of scissors and running shoes.
Continue ReadingWhen my wife was heavily pregnant, I still found her attractive. Although, I think this was due to the increase in gravity.
Continue ReadingI take my daughter everywhere. But she always finds her way home.
Continue ReadingMy wife and I’ve just celebrated our Golden Wedding Anniversary. In all that time we’ve only ever had one argument. It started about 50 years ago.
Continue ReadingYour mum is so slow that her de broglie wavelength is observable on Macroscopic scales.
Continue ReadingWhen I saw your mum crossing the road, I ran out of petrol trying to drive around her.
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