Category: dreams

Last night I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow. I woke up this morning and my albino son was gone

I was talking to my psychiatrist earlier: Me: I keep having these dreams in which my wife dies. Psychiatrist: I see, and how long have you been having these nightmares? Me: Nightmares?

Don’t listen to what people say, FOLLOW YOUR DREAM! Unless your fat because you probably won’t be able catch up with it.

I keep on having dreams that I am Iron Man. They always end when the armor falls off and underneath it all I am Stark naked.

I asked a sleep therapist out on a date She said, “Pffft … in your dreams” I said, “Cool, I’ll pick you up at nine then”

Always follow your dream! Unless it’s the one where you’re at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

Last night, our son came up to our room and asked if he could sleep in our bed because he was afraid of the monster in his closet. It’s already the third time this week, I hope his girlfriend doesn’t mind.