I’ve been thinking of ope …
I’ve been thinking of opening a school for disadvantaged kids. All I gotta do is master the art of disguising myself as the Queen.
Continue ReadingI’ve been thinking of opening a school for disadvantaged kids. All I gotta do is master the art of disguising myself as the Queen.
Continue ReadingChildren in America are so bad at Geography that they only know where a Country is in the World when they get Attacked by them.
Continue ReadingMy six-year-old daughter is dependent on heroin. If I don’t sell enough of it then she doesn’t get fed.
Continue ReadingThe other day, my neighbour’s son lost all his fingers in a tragic accident, i felt so sorry for him i went out and bought him an Ipod touch.
Continue ReadingI don’t know why my children hate bubbles so much. I only took them to the neverland ranch once.
Continue ReadingChildline really needs to be renamed….. I rang them and ordered 3 but instead a van full of Police officers turned up???
Continue ReadingI love to go to the park and watch the kids jumping up and down. They don’t know I’m firing blanks.
Continue ReadingSchools have changed since my day. From blackboard to whiteboard. From quill to biro. From cane to dumbell.
Continue ReadingI saw a headline today that said “Teenage Binge Drinkers are drinking themselves infertile.” GOOD. We didn’t want them in the gene pool anyway.
Continue ReadingDodgems: The only time i can legally ram young children.
Continue ReadingI’ve always been truthful with my son. I don’t tell him these lies that other parents use all the time. He has always known that Father Christmas isn’t real, he knows that too much T.V. does not make your eyes square and he knows he is the reason why me and his mother fell out […]
Continue ReadingYou know it’s cold outside when the dead babies in your shed turn into microwave meals.
Continue ReadingHaiti Cemetery… Remind you of a school game? BUNDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference between a baby and fruit? I don’t eat fruit.
Continue ReadingNothing says “I was bullied at school” quite like becoming a copper
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