So my wife went all funny …
So my wife went all funny and got a bit upset when I bought our 13 year old daughter some veet hair removal cream for her birthday…
Continue ReadingSo my wife went all funny and got a bit upset when I bought our 13 year old daughter some veet hair removal cream for her birthday…
Continue ReadingThere was a familiar wake up call at 6.30 this morning. “DADDY. I done a toilet. Can you wipe me?” It was so cute. “I’ll do it this one last time, but you’re a big boy now and you must learn to do this yourself. Wow! Somebody has a messy bot bot” “Cut the chit […]
Continue ReadingWas in the pharmacy today when a little girl pointed to a shelve of condoms and asked her dad “Daddy what are them sweets up there?” He replies “Sweets that I should have bought”
Continue ReadingI was in Asda today and saw a mother struggle to smack her out of control child. So I politely asked her if she wants me to hold her basket, so she could use both hands.
Continue ReadingSo Mrs Beckham have given birth to a daughter weighing in at 7lbs 10oz I never realised a woman could give birth to a baby heavier than herself!!!
Continue ReadingMy son decided he wanted to leave home this morning and when my wife got in from work she started blaming my drinking as usual. I said, ” I know it was me that left the door open but he’ll be back. He’s got nursery tomorrow and he likes that”
Continue ReadingWhat Disney taught me as a child ; If your Dad isn’t king, you’re an extra at best.
Continue ReadingMy 15 year old son is a mute, he cant read or write and has very little hearing capabilities. . . So i bought him a mobile phone to cheer him up.
Continue ReadingWhy is Santa so jolly? Because you’re adopted.
Continue ReadingRaising kids is like being held hostage by midget terrorists!
Continue ReadingHowever sad you feel… Just remember that, somewhere in the world, a fat kid has just dropped his ice-cream
Continue ReadingBBC NEWS HEADLINE: ‘Sterling hits 19 month euro high’ So what your saying is, Old man hits druggy baby.
Continue ReadingDon’t you love a child’s laughter? Much better than them screaming ‘Stranger’.
Continue ReadingI resent being forced into complimenting my friend’s children for doing things that are simply part of being human and take no special skill. Can you believe how big Bobby is now? Oh wow, Bobby is so good at growing. You got a real grower there.
Continue ReadingI said to my son, “what you doing?” “Maths homework.” I said, “Give us a question.” “What’s the lowest common denominator?” I said, “You’ll never find it, they were looking for that when I was at school.”
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