My child was born with a …
My child was born with a genetic skin disorder. He’s black.
Continue ReadingMy child was born with a genetic skin disorder. He’s black.
Continue ReadingWhy did the boy drop his lolly pop? Because he got hit by a car.
Continue ReadingMy little girl came to me the other day and said, “Daddy, what is sadness?” I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I ran her dog over.
Continue ReadingAfter years of thinking it wasn’t anything I should be concerned about, I have finally given in to my conscience and decided to sponsor a needy child in the Third World. She is eleven years old, white and lives in Bradford.
Continue ReadingWhen anyone ask me to watch their children, I ask if their kid is a “mean drunk” or a “happy drunk.” Gets me out of it every time.
Continue ReadingWhen your only child has Down’s Syndrome, Birthdays can be difficult. Last week our daughter was five and me and the wife just couldn’t decide what to give her. Eventually we settled on ‘away, for adoption.’
Continue ReadingMy wife was saying ‘I don’t care what you say. There’s no pain in the world as bad as childbirth’ Anyway you will be glad to know she now knows better. Sorry make that knew better.
Continue ReadingNo matter how much flour I use, I can never raise a child.
Continue ReadingMy kids loved it when I threw them down the waterslide. They weren’t so keen on the landslide!
Continue ReadingI don’t believe in smacking my children…it achieves nothing. Several punches do though.
Continue ReadingContrary to what the experts say, I’ve always found that if I leave my kids alone they’re generally quite well behaved. Especially when I leave them alone on the central reservation of the M1
Continue ReadingI have puppies instead of children. I’d rather ruin my carpet then my life.
Continue Reading‘Children need to see disabled people on TV to get over their fear’ says one-armed presenter Cerrie Burnell. On the other hand… oh wait.
Continue ReadingThe kids love coming to my house to play with the toys… A Rampant Rabbit feels loads better than an Action Man.
Continue ReadingI met a mother and her son in the park today, we got chatting and I said “do you like impression’s?” “of course who doesn’t?” she replied, So I kicked her in the face and ran away with her son! I left a lasting impression I think…
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