Category: children

The Beckham’s new daughter Harper Seven is said to look very similiar to her mother. And at 7 lbs 100 z, I wouldn’t argue with that…

My girlfriend told me last night that she thinks it’s time for us to start thinking about children……. Ive been doing that for years, Im glad she’s on board.

Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him. They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he’d put an end to things by saying boldly, “After our […]

A new study suggests that people with children are happier than people without children. Clearly, the study wasn’t conducted at an airport.

My wife asked me to feed our 8 month old daughter. Hope she likes chips and beer.

I’ve never read my daughter’s diary. No kid that sits and writes in a diary is doing anything worth worrying about.

I love dog owners. Always happy to let you have a good old stroke of their beautiful dogs when you ask. Can’t say the same for parents, mind…

Tip – Ruin your friend’s kid’s summer by telling them mosquitos carry aids.

My girlfriend and I decided to admit we are trying for a baby. Our father was disgusted.

I’ve just bought a car with child locks. Now I have to wait for my son to open the door every time I want to go somewhere.

Note to self: When asked to watch someone’s kids for the night, Don’t reply “I do”.

Social services has just taken my 2 year old off me for no reason what so ever. I don’t even know if his new parents will even let him smoke in the house!

A mother, cleaning her son’s room, finds an S&M magazine under the bed. Upset, she immediately shows the magazine to her husband. “Well?” his wife asks. “What do you think we should do?” “I’m not sure,” the father replies. “But we certainly shouldn’t spank him.”

“Schoolchildren injured after bus crashes on way to Alton Towers” That’s now my day out sorted. At least the queue for Nemesis will be shorter.

Remember the story of hansel and gretel? well that was my version of events anyway