If you were unlucky enoug …
If you were unlucky enough to lose your thumb….. Would the bottom of your sandwhich fall off?
Continue ReadingIf you were unlucky enough to lose your thumb….. Would the bottom of your sandwhich fall off?
Continue ReadingSometimes I wish I had a lower IQ so I could understand what the wife is saying
Continue ReadingHow come Deaf people always find the time to play charades.
Continue ReadingWhat’s grey, got 4 legs and a trunk? A mouse going on holiday.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend told me she gives up and can’t see me anymore. I rule at Hide & Seek.
Continue ReadingDuring my volcano expedition I had to avoid stepping on the lava at all costs. Until mum came in, and said to stop pretending that the carpet is molten rock and to put the cushions away.
Continue ReadingI told the wife I was going to a fancy dress party as one of the Seven Dwarfs. She said.”Don’t be stupid.” Silly cow thinks that was one of them.
Continue ReadingI always have a bit of banter with the professor who lives next door, but this morning he turned round and said that my ripostes, “reflect a personality that too readily regresses into inane juvenile protestations.” I said, “No, that’s you.”
Continue ReadingMy wife called me immature today. So I told her to look down her blouse and spell the word A-T-T-I-C out loud.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend stormed into the room and said I’m obsessed with retro childrens TV shows. I dropped a Clanger.
Continue ReadingHow do you make a girl cry? Tell them they came second in Britain’s Got Talent
Continue ReadingAfter years of narrowing down the different types of human pattern scientist have finally narrowed it down to two. 1) The 9-5: living by the system finding a girls settling down getting married, kids, the works. 2) Call of duty.
Continue ReadingMy Girlfriend left me, claiming that I was just too childish. So I flicked a bogey at her
Continue ReadingI used to be a safe driver, but I give up. After all , who wants to drive a safe.
Continue ReadingMy mate told me I was unoriginal, So is his mum!
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