Category: charity

My wife is sat on the sofa downstairs with a box of Kleenex, sobbing her heart out watching Comic Relief. I’m led on the bed with a box of Kleenex for an entirely different reason. I’m also watching Comic Relief.

BBC Children In Need – “There are disabled children in every corner of the country needing your help!” Just because they are disabled don’t mean you should put them in a the corner! Thats not right!

Isn’t it ironic that Unicef have a dinner to raise money for starving Children?

I’m sick of watching films of ill Africans followed by the money rising. Can we see a body count?

An actual message from my train yesterday. “Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me!”

I sponsored a little blind kid today. I tattooed “Fly Emirates” on his chest.

If you’re struggling to provide for your kids, just send them to Africa and donate 2 per month.

Coming home from the pub, I noticed this poster in the window of the Oxfam shop : ” Think of starving children in Africa ” So , after mulling it over , I broke in and robbed the place

Children in need: two of the ten beds are empty because they cant afford to keep them open. So what did you do with the 39 million raised last year?

Tip for charity collectors: Try standing outside Marks & Spencer and not Poundland.

A friend of mine just updated her Facebook status to read: “Comic relief is starting, I should go get some tissues” “I already have mine” I commented back. She replied with “I didn’t know this kind of thing upset you so much” “It doesn’t”

Is Comic Relief what Dawn French used to give to Lenny Henry?

“SSPCA attack RSPCA over funds” I guess that it’s dog-eat-dog in the animal charity world

Comic Relief is coming up yet again. I hope Lenny Henry does a sponsored silence.

Charity is like Incest. It begins at home.