Category: books

my dog just sat on my keyboard and came out with the next twighlight book.

I bought a book on practical jokes from Waterstones today. When I got it home and opened it, all the pages were blank and fell out.

I hope my new book does well. It’s called “How to be concise and get straight to the point using the minimum of diminutive words necessary to convey your meaning as clearly as possible without overly long descriptions and explanations.”

My wife loves glossy magazines. So I bought her a Dulux catalogue.

Tomorrow sees the release of the audiobook of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’. Read by Joe Pasquale.

Just finished 50 shades of pink. Its a true story about a man, his washing machine and an elusive red sock.

Just finished reading the girl who kicked the hornets nest,it wasn’t that good but the part were she got stung to death was hilarious.

David Kelly walks in to a Library. “Do you have a textbook on suicides” “Sorry” says the Librarian, “a bloke from MI6 just borrowed it”

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on how to be a taxi driver. The librarian replies “It’s just around the corner.”

I’ve just bought a 3D Kindle. Or a book as it’s commonly known.

Books like Twilight is what you get when you let women out of the kitchen.

I used to be obsessed with JRR Tolkien. Now I’ve kicked the hobbit!

I’ve just started reading a book called “Jokes for Dummies.” Chapter 1 : Learning ventriloquism.

Breaking News: Archaeologists digging at the site of Shakespeare’s house have uncovered thousands of monkey skeletons.

Apparently “50 shades of grey” is the first book in history where there is no need for it’s readers to lick their fingers to turn the pages.