Category: books

John Milton wrote the book: Paradise lost. Then his wife died… And he wrote the book: Paradise regained.

I’m currently reading ‘My Life’ by Bill Clinton. Which freaked me out because I didn’t think he knew anything about my life.

There is nothing like getting to the end of a good book and thinking, AH! Theres Wally!

Kate and Gerry are bringing out a new book on how to raise your kids, It’s got lots of tips on how to control their behaviour. Top Tip no 1! Sacrifice one child so that the others behave. Top Tip no 2! Remind them if they tell anyone the next holidays booked.

For the past 10 years, I’ve been trying but failing miserably to write my autobiography. Story of my life.

Ive got a book on the paranormal I didnt buy it, it just appeared

The Black Guy to English dictionary #1; “Awwwww sheit!” – Oh dear, there appears to be something wrong

There is something strangely ironic about the “Bradford English Dictionary”.

My son said he wished he was more like Harry Potter. So I locked him under the stairs and gave him a scar across his face.

The double standards of book censorship amazes me. Basically the same book has been banned and then released again. ‘Madeleine: The Book’ hits shelves this week but yet ‘If I Did It’ by OJ Simpson gets banned on it’s first release. Hypocrites.

JK Rowling has responded to complaints that her books don’t feature any realistic ethnic minority characters by writing a new one: Harry Potter And The Half Caste Pimp

Hopefully I’ve got a book coming out soon. Admittedly, I don’t think I should have eaten it in the first place.

50 shades of day. And that concludes the scottish weather report for the next 1,000,000 years.

If an infinite amount of monkeys had an infinite amount of typewriters how long would it take them to write the complete works of Shakespeare? …I dunno but I reckon in the first three seconds they’d have written the autobiography of Katie Price.

My wife came to me the other day after finishing ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ and suggested we take some inspiration from the book in our relationship. “Absolutely! I’d love to.” I replied excitedly, relishing the opportunity. Im not sure it was what she had in mind when I wrote all over her, bound her and […]