Category: animals/insects

Wishing your pets could talk is fun until you remember everything you’ve ever done in front of your pets.

I don’t know why they call them ‘Drug Sniffing Dogs’. It’s usually more effective the other way around.

What is black, white and red? A penguin with a red hat on it’s head. The hat is at a jaunty angle and looks really cute.

My wife just shoved her hand inside a Goat to get out the baby. Ewe

BBC Sport: Sharapova advances after Peng win Next thing you know, polar bears will be playing tennis.

What’s black and kills people? Panthers.

I remember the first time my father taught me about the birds and the bees. In fact, he still doesn’t shut up about them! It’s a nightmare being the only son of Bill Oddie.

Why doesn’t my dog use antiperspirant? It blocks his paws…..

Wanted: Web designer, 45/hour, short term contract. Will be working for blind spider.

Yesterday, I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, “What for?”

Apparently, baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day. Do worms have feet then?

I’ve forgotten the name of my homing pigeon.. But I’m sure it will come back to me.

My pet mouse only responds when I refer to him as a mous. I don’t tell anyone his real name as he would prefer to remain a non-e mous

I wonder if camels ever look down at their toes and think “oh my god that looks like a……??”

I was going to adopt a killer whale through the RSPCA. But then I thought that I didn’t really feel like breaking the news to it that I’m not his real father.