Category: animals/insects

If first you don’t succeed. You must be a budgie with teeth.

I was sacked when my boss found me cat napping at work today. I’d managed to get three Tabbies and a Siamese into my van before he caught me.

There are two things you should always carry. 1) A small bottle of Whiskey in case of snakebite. 2) A snake.

My pet tarantula has a deformed back & real problems walking. I fear it might have spider bifida.

When i said to my dog “play dead” i didn’t expect him to jump in front of the next lorry

Road accidents involving moose have risen by 20% this year in Sweden. I’m not surprised, how can you control a car with a hoof?

‘A Dogs just not for Christmas.’ Unfortunately doggie with my wife is.

Which side of a cat has the most fur on it? The outside.

My daughter has called our new puppy Nigel. Talk about giving a dog a bad name.

At the weasel fanciers exhibition I thoroughly disgraced myself. Apparently, I’d taken along the wrong breed of animal. *cough*….. I’ll get me stoat.

A man walks into a pub with his dog and bets the barman 500 that the dog can talk. The barman takes him up on the offer thinking the man was mad. So he says to his dog “What is on the top of a house?” and the dog says “ROOF!” then the man says […]

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday, She said “Surprise me with something exotic”, So I put a king cobra in her birthday cake!

My cat got spayed today. Now all she needs is a bucket and we can go to the beach.

Llamas are going to destroy the Earth. It’s the alpacalypse.

I’ve got a pet lobster. I remember when he was just a little scampi.