Category: animals/insects

People claim that cats hate water but I think my cat loves it, because I threw her in the swimming pool a week ago. I mean she must have loved it because she still hasn’t come out.

Scientists have found a spider that has been trapped for 49 million years. I didn’t know dinosaurs had bath tubs.

What do you call a whale with no legs? A whale

when confronted by a lion, bear or tiger in the wild always stroke them in the direction their fur lies, never stroke against the nap as they dont like that

Two Owls playing pool…. First owl takes his shot and fouls as his wing brushes against a ball.. Being an honest owl he say’s to his mate “Two hits” The second owl replies “Two hits To Who?”

I think my puppy may have a sore throat, He’s a little huskey.

What do you call a nice smelling Insect. A Deodor Ant

I’m sure my mate’s part chameleon, but he’s denied it ’til he’s blue in the face. If anything that convinced me even more.

My pet centipede died this morning. I’m really sad, but he was on his last legs.

I got one of those ‘Cash For Gold’ envelopes in the post this morning. So I posted it back to them this afternoon. Wonder what they’ll give me for my fish?

We’ve just got a new rescue kitten! He looks cute in the mask and cape but if he doesn’t stop trying to save people, he’s going to get hurt.

I saw two cats fighting on my way to work this morning. My van broke it up.

Held my closed fist up to my wife, “Behold.” “What?” she replied in awe. I opened my hand and the bee flew out and stung her face.

I’m a hunt saboteur… I like to walk round the countryside shooting foxes.

My wife just called me a dog. I feel like fetching a stick and beating…Hang on.