Category: animals/insects

I never knew dogs could be racist. Then I met a sniffer dog.

I have 2 cats, but only one eats Whiskers. The other has a bald face.

Just been banned from keeping pets. Turns out that a bearded dragon doesn’t like razors.

Scientific evidence suggests that feeding chocolate to dogs is highly dangerous and must be avoided. From experience, I can say that this is true from what happened to my own dog. He choked on a rolo.

I’ve got three Whippets. Whip it in , Whip it out, wipe it.

My friend has a pet German Shepherd. Every time I visit him, it puts its face straight into my groin. I have a Yorkshire Terrier and all this kneeling down is killing my back.

When I was younger my mum came home to find my puppies were all dead…..So she went off to the pet store to buy some new ones, In the hope I wouldn’t notice! But i did……… And I killed them to!

Why couldn’t the Viper viper Nose?. Because the Adder adder Hankerchief.

A German cat gave birth to 6 kittens. 5 of them were all healthy, but one was stillborn. The healthy kittens will have nine lives, while the stillborn kitten will have nein lives

If moths are attracted to light, why are they nocturnal? Kind of like a pedophile working at a retirement home.

Top Tip ~ Spice up your hamster’s dull life by making a ball pit out of a margarine tub filled with M&M’s.

My cat keeps beating me at Pac Man. To be fair, he did start with 9 lives.

Crouching tiger, hidden dragon. The day out at the zoo wasn’t a success.

Difference between man and animals is that we don’t use our tongues to clean our genitals…….We have others do it for us.

Amy Winehouse is dead? No.. Wait.. Its just a neglected horse.