Category: animals/insects

What do you call an exploding monkey ? Baboooom !!!

I watched a DVD of Steve Irwin choking the animal that would eventually kill him. It was a Blu Ray

Horse racing is one of the most immoral sports around and should be banned immediately. I mean strapping midgets to horses is just inhumane.

I was visiting a friend in South Korea the other day. “This country is going to the dogs.” he said. “What an ironic twist of fate.” I thought.

I make my dog work for his treats. R.I.P Rover, that conservatory job was just too much for you.

– Why do tigers live on their own whereas lions live in prides? – Because Lions aren’t ginger.

Earwigs: For people who can’t grow their own ear hair.

I was reading my newspaper when my parrot said to me “Why are you staring at the carpet?”

I was in the jungle and got attacked by a snake. It bit me and I fell to the ground. Luckily there was a ladder around the next corner

What do you get if your baby cat falls into your deep fat fryer? Unlucky fried kitten

Looking for your cat? Try my wheel arches.

Daily Mirror: Shark Widow: My Agony With all due respect love, you weren’t the one who was chewed up and eaten alive by Jaws.

The only sound animals should make is sizzle.

I’ve just seen an advert for ‘Dog trainers’ in the paper… i can’t get mine to wear a collar, let alone sportswear.

Help, I think I’ve just drowned my Turtle . . Or Tortoise or whatever it is.