Category: animals/insects

A bull has been arrested for going berserk in a China shop. He’s denied all charges.

I’ve been trying to breed male rabbits for racing. I’ll do anything to make a fast buck.

I won a rabbit at the fair once, but it drowned in the bag before I got it home.

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

Taxidermy. The only job where you can give animals a good stuffing. And get away with it.

I rang my mate but he answered the phone in tears. “Whats wrong?” I asked, concerned. “The dogs just been hit by a truck! Just this minute outside the house, almost tore it in half!” he wailed. “I’ll be over right away!” I shouted. I’ve never seen inside a dog before.

Do you think dogs think they have got beards?

In the mind of the dog: The humans offer me food, love and shelter. They must be my gods. In the mind of the cat: The humans offer me food love and shelter. I must be their gods.

So the BBC declared a panda as Woman of the Year 2011? Must’ve seen 2 black eyes & immediately thought of their wives, eh?

Wow! I’ve Just found out that my dog can talk, I said “what’s that tree made out of boy?” “Bark!” He yelped.

I wish I was a mayfly, then till death do us part wouldn’t sound so bad.

I’ve got a border collie. He only comes home in the school holidays.

How do you make a Taiwanese beaver happy? Give it wood

What do you call the leader of the worms? Master Bait

What do you get when you mix a spider with a shoe? A shoe.