Category: animals/insects

Question-Are grey squirrels not just old red squirrels?

Amy Winehouse’s boyfriend is in hiding since waking up next to her. He’s convinced the Mafia are after him.

The dog escaped out of our back garden last week , and when I hadn’t found Rusty by dark , I wondered if we’d ever see him again. But I was on the other side of town today , and there he was. He’d made it all the way back to his owner’s.

Thought I saw Batman’s shadow in our house earlier.. Turns out our German Sheppard was sat at the top of the stairs

Black people call me a white honky. I don’t mind though, I’m a goose.

A termite lands on a fly. The fly says; “Are you a termite” The termite replies; “I mite be”. “That’s the stupidest pun I’ve ever heard” “Give me a chance man, I just came up with it on the fly”

The government is now saying that all dogs will have to be chipped. A spokesman for the Korean community said that this was great news

What do you call a grizzly with no teeth? A Gummy Bear

My new girlfriend was cooking with the meat I got her when she started going off on one, “I haven’t seen my cat for hours, he never goes out.” She said frantically, running around kicking and screaming. I think she’s making a meal of it.

What has 6 legs and an arm? Me fisting a horse.

Went on safari in Africa, and filmed several wild beasts doing amazing things. Like carrying a huge basket of clothes on their heads for example.

Breaking News: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad attacks Octopus Paul I bet Paul saw this coming.

My dog has just bitten my disabled son. That’s it, once this ones gone, no more kids for me!

What is a Muslim monkey A Qur’an-utan

My wife came storming up to me before ‘I’m leaving you because your mind drifts and you never pay attention to anything!’ she said. ‘what if birds arnt singing their just screaming because their scared of heights?’ I replied.