Category: animals/insects

What separates us from the animals??…. Fences

My horse has been banned from racing on suspicion I was giving him steroids. Apparently another horse looked at him funny in the paddock and he ripped off a piece of fence and started beating him with it.

Preserve Nature, Pickle a squirrel today.

My poor dog has just had to have a leg amputated. On the plus side bids are up to 67 for the leg on Korean Ebay.

What do giraffes have that no other animal has? Baby giraffes.

Meant to shake my Etch-A-Sketch, but accidentally grabbed the ant farm. Ants are now busy planning a disaster relief telethon.

House spiders: where did they live before we came along?

I went down on my missus last night and I’ve had a hair stuck in my teeth all day. I finally got it out during the lunch break at work and we’ve decided to keep it as the office pet.

My mate invented a method of weaving clothes from pubic lice, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

My girlfriend won two goldfish at the fair last night, so we decided to call them Thelma and Louise. They will most probably be dead by the end of the week.

I found a hornet in my car. I’m going kerb crawling tonight to test it out.

Always by my side protecting me, I love my pet… rock.

My Father said that he is so fed up of all my pets, the next one I get he is going to drown. I’m seriously considering getting a shark.

I took one of my chickens to “Bring your pet to work day” He loved meeting everyone but wasn’t too keen on the lunch arrangements.

I got told that chameleons blend to look like their surroundings. Well I put mine in a blender and it looks nothing like the kitchen wall.