Category: animals/insects

My wife’s chihuahua took a nasty dump on the carpet and I stepped on it. Now I gotta get a new one before she gets home.

A giraffe walks into a bar. The barman says, “You’ve got some neck coming in here.”

BBC News ‘Utah highway shut after 20m bees escape from lorry’ Typical Americans, always super sizing everything.

Took my disobedient German Shepherd to a dog shouter. It’s basically just an impatient dog whisperer.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he has guts.

I couldn’t believe that on christmas eve I got another anaconda shoved through my front door. I really have had enough of these amazon mix-ups.

A mouse walks into a music shop and asks the shopkeeper for a mouth organ. The shopkeeper says “Thats strange your the second mouse in here this morning asking for a mouth organ” The mouse replied Yeah – Thats probably our Monica!!!!

So many cats, not enough recipes

My sick dog brings all the bait I need to go fishing with. He’s a worm carrier.

I noticed a mouse popping it’s head out of a hole from a skirting board in my bedroom , so I rang the Enviromental health Agency. The bloke arrived shortly afterwards I and we stood in my bedroom and waited for the mouse to appear , suddenly a Fish stuck its head out of the […]

Snakes like to chew Wrigley’s

What does a toothless budgie do? Succeeds

BBC News: ‘New Mini-Species of Tiger discovered!’ So just a cat, then?

I got fined 50 by the local council for feeding the pigeons in the park today. Next time, I think I’ll take Weight Watchers bread with me.

My new dog has a cleft palate,but he is highly intelligent, he already knows my name. When I get home he stands at the gate and shouts “Mark,Mark,Mark”