Category: animals/insects

I’m gonna get a tattoo on my inner thigh of a squirrel worshipping my nuts.

My girlfriend can never get boots to fit because her calves are too big. I think she’s weird anyway, dressing up livestock.

I’ve just adopted a Giant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo. Mind you, I don’t think he’s going to be happy when he’s old enough to realise I’m not his real Dad.

Do animal rights activists ever try to kill two birds with one stone?

I was planning to go clubbing this weekend but decided not to. I can’t see many people buying fur coats in this weather.

A dolphin will jump out of the water for a piece of fish………. imagine what he’d do for some chips!?

Curiosity never killed the cat.. he just didn’t get his IAMS

I thought beavers were meant to be good swimmers…

Zoo officials say that a female tiger has killed her mate at London zoo. It was a rare attack that came after months of simmering jealousy in a feline love triangle. Authorities say if the allegations are true, the tiger could spend the rest of her life behind bars.

Some moron started shouting at me to find out if I’d heard of elephants! I thought “of course I have”, shortly before I was trampled by a herd of elephants.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, which are commonly referred to as cavefish, blindfish, or swampfish. They are small freshwater fish found in the dark environments of swamps, caves, and some deep lakes. They are known for having no eyesight. I found one and named it fsh.

So in 50 year we won’t be able to see penguins unless it’s on television due to climate change. The more things change, the more they stay the same then.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean Beef What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef

Knock knock Who’s there? Kanger Kanger who? Boing boing boing

My mate asked my advice on which dogs are best to take on a duck shoot. I gave him a couple of pointers.