Category: animals/insects

News: Cat killed by sniper. I guess putting them in bins got boring

Mick Hucknall of Simply Red has been prosecuted for raping a rabbit, Apparently when he was caught he was singing “Holding back the ears” and “Bunnies too tight to mention”

Apparently the new gorilla pups at Bristol zoo were hand reared. Personally, I think that’s disgusting and don’t agree with zoophilia.

Wasps – The Pakis of the insect world!

What do you call a camel with three humps? A veterinary cancer specialist as soon as possible.

My Grandad was killed by a load of baby eels Elver way to go

Where do the best chickens go when they die? The Oven

Dogs smell, drool, constantly want fed and always have the urge to hump things…… No wonder they’re mans best friend.

I bought a German Shephard the other day to protect my home from burglars… He isn’t very good though, I got burgled last night while he was flocking the sheep.

I got rid of a huge fly with my slipper today. I said, “you can have this slipper if you get out of my house.”

I bought a dog once and named him ‘Stay’. “Come here, Stay!” He’s insane now.

Animals may be our friends but they wont pick you up at the airport.

I got a new phone today. It’s got less battery life than a KFC chicken.

Just before Christmas last year my gran was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, it was terrible news to get just before the festive season, but on the plus side I’ve got her the same present this year.

What’s extremely dangerous and swings through the trees? A monkey with a shotgun