I can’t believe my ears! Just been watching the National Lottery. Dale Winton’s just asked this woman a question and she hasn’t got a clue about the three answers provided. She says to him that there isn’t even an answer that she knows is wrong. Dale’s reply, “Well, it’s easier if you just knock one […]
Continue ReadingYesterday, I went to sleep with my head at the foot of my bed to mix things up. This morning, I woke up slightly confused about where I was. Misson accomplished.
Continue ReadingI’ve just seen the 10,000m final… Looks like Mr Farah was running in fast Mo.
Continue ReadingThey say What comes around goes around I’ve been trying it for weeks
Continue ReadingI was waiting for a train earlier when this drunk pillock started acting up on the platform. He was shouting, swearing, even tried to start on a couple of kids. Then all of a sudden he jumped off the platform and ran across the tracks to hit a guy on the other platform. I thought […]
Continue ReadingMicrosoft recently announced that they’re releasing Windows 7 in Europe without an internet browser and users will have to download and install one for themselves. Anyone else see a key flaw with this?
Continue ReadingLondonderry. The only word with 6 silent letters.
Continue ReadingHow many times did the dyslexic guy apply for a job at an electricity provider? Eon.
Continue ReadingLIZARD……lizard……..liz…… Is there a Gecko in here?
Continue Reading6 star hotels are a bit overrated.
Continue Readingyou know your ginger when even your imaginary friends dont want to play with you.
Continue ReadingI remember when I was young and my dad always used to play tricks on me, like filling ketchup bottles with Tabasco and changing the salt for the sugar. Never found out what he filled the mayonnaise bottles with, though.
Continue ReadingMy little cousin still goes to the pre-school When the teacher asked her “You have 5 apples, you give half to John, how many have you got left?” She confidently replied “Four and a half”
Continue ReadingI once saw Guns N’Roses in Tesco. I thought, “That’s weird, selling them down the same aisle.”
Continue ReadingWhat do you do if your boiler explodes? Buy her some flowers.
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