Our local Dominoes has sh …
Our local Dominoes has shut down. Not sure why, but can’t help feeling that’ll be the first of many.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’m going to treat my wif …
I’m going to treat my wife this weekend. Some wood varnish should do the trick.
Continue ReadingI was out sailing the oth …
I was out sailing the other day when all of a sudden a load of meat floated past me. It was a bit choppy.
Continue ReadingDear Kingsmill confession …
Dear Kingsmill confessions, My favourite bread is Warburtons.
Continue ReadingI’ve just started my new …
I’ve just started my new shift pattern at work but I’m not sure what to make of it. It’s early days.
Continue ReadingWhat came first, the chic …
What came first, the chicken or the egg? …Neither. No-one came until the rooster did.
Continue ReadingIf I had a quid for every …
If I had a quid for every time I found a pound left in a vending machine…
Continue ReadingI always give waiters a t …
I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.
Continue ReadingMy wife can suffer in sil …
My wife can suffer in silence louder than anyone I know.
Continue ReadingHorses are easily alarmed …
Horses are easily alarmed, which is just as well as I don’t want mine stolen.
Continue ReadingSomeone said to me the ot …
Someone said to me the other day “least said, soonest mended”. Its a phrase apparently. I decided to put this saying to the test as my brakes went on my car the other day, so I didn’t tell anyone. The Wife’s Funeral is next week.
Continue ReadingAfter watching Comic Reli …
After watching Comic Relief and seeing all the poverty it’s made me realise how lucky I am. I got my 32 inch HD TV half price on the last day of the sale, it’s like the flies are actually in the room.
Continue ReadingMy wife got the sack this …
My wife got the sack this morning. It was hessian and now she’s at the bottom of a lake.
Continue Reading“My wife’s off her nut. S …
“My wife’s off her nut. She keeps complaining that I don’t care enough about the kids.” “How many have you got then?” “Three, maybe four …”
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend told me I c …
My girlfriend told me I could ‘smash her back door in’ yesterday. Apparently I misunderstood.. and now her parents are charging me for criminal damage
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