I’ve just finished painti …
I’ve just finished painting my house. It’ll take pride of place on the fridge door.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Apparently Georgie Thomps …
Apparently Georgie Thompson from Sky Sports News has been banned from driving after a drink driving offence. There was no alcohol involved, she just spilt her coffee as she crashed the car into a hedge.
Continue ReadingThe Internet is such a bo …
The Internet is such a boring place… …when there are other people in the room.
Continue ReadingI decided to write some j …
I decided to write some jokes about my eyes. They started off bad, but then they got cornea.
Continue ReadingI don’t know what people …
I don’t know what people are angling at, but they keep saying I’m obtuse
Continue ReadingMy friend asked me to rew …
My friend asked me to rewire his house. Now there’s an offer I can’t refuse.
Continue ReadingMy dentist treated me lik …
My dentist treated me like a king today. He told me I should have a crown.
Continue ReadingI got home last night fro …
I got home last night from work and there was my wife, looking in her purse and seperating all her coins and putting them into neat little piles. At that moment it hit me, my wife was going through the change.
Continue ReadingMy hopes of getting a job …
My hopes of getting a job are fading quicker than two toddlers trying to escape a house fire.
Continue ReadingAs I was laying my jacket …
As I was laying my jacket across a puddle to allow my blind wife to cross the road I thought to myself, ‘chivalry certainly isn’t dead.’ But she is after I failed to notice the number 6 bus.
Continue ReadingA friend of mine started …
A friend of mine started a business making doughnuts. In the end he gave up on the hole thing.
Continue ReadingMy mum says I need to tac …
My mum says I need to tackle my Gephyrophobia. I told her I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Continue ReadingYou know you’re a geek wh …
You know you’re a geek when you have an iPhone, an iPod, a PC, a laptop, a GPS system and a PDA but you’d swap them all for a working lightsaber.
Continue ReadingThe sheep that we get wir …
The sheep that we get wire wool from has no known natural enemies.
Continue ReadingThe other day a mate of m …
The other day a mate of mine hit me with a chocolate bar. How dairy.
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