qjoq.com – Page 902

I worried so much that my …

I worried so much that my hair would fall out due to stress, it did.

I’m not giving that bloke …

I’m not giving that bloke back his money on Ebay, it was perfectly fine when I wrapped and posted it. And how was I to know he wanted to collect his puppy?

My gym instructor approac …

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My gym instructor approached me today and asked my reasons for staring so intensely at a Dumbbell. “My doctor said I need to watch my weight,” I replied.

Did you hear about the ma …

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Did you hear about the man who opened a yacht showroom? Sales went through the roof.

A friend told me that he’ …

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A friend told me that he’s scared of dwarfs. I asked him if he’s also scared of normal people when they’re far away.

Just been in court and the judge told me “you will be jailed for twenty years for the henious crime you have committed on a poor defenceless old woman who had no right to be treated in such a manner as you did in the middle of the night whilst she was sleeping alone in […]

I didn’t understand osmos …

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I didn’t understand osmosis at school, so I was moved down a set. I went from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration.

Child lock’s a great thin …

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Child lock’s a great thing to use. As you get your car crushed…

My new girlfriend and I a …

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My new girlfriend and I are going to sleep together tonight for the first time. Fingers crossed she can take 4 fingers… …but if I uncross them I can get a fist up there.

Just had a row with my so …

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Just had a row with my son over Peter Pan. It’s about time he grew up.

As the rest of the bobsle …

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As the rest of the bobsleigh team and I prepared for our first run, the brake man suddenly fell to the floor clutching his leg. “Go on without me, I’ll only slow you down”, he cried.