Carling : Win your perfec …
Carling : Win your perfect pint! So that’l be anything except Carling please
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I think its about time I …
I think its about time I came out of the closet to my wife. Its really hot in here and I can’t see that anything good is going to happen between her and her sister.
Continue ReadingOn a scale of 1-10, my di …
On a scale of 1-10, my dinner was 3.14159… Steak and Kidney to be precise.
Continue ReadingI went to blockbuster ear …
I went to blockbuster earlier to see if I could get superman returns They said that’s fine, as long as I’ve got a reciept
Continue ReadingSigmund Freuds ‘Oedipus c …
Sigmund Freuds ‘Oedipus complex’. Not so much a theory as an admission of guilt.
Continue ReadingIt has been announced tha …
It has been announced that Nigeria has 22,980,200 Internet users. I’ve had emails from every single one.
Continue ReadingI went to a corner shop t …
I went to a corner shop today. I don’t know why though, I didn’t even want to buy a corner.
Continue ReadingSo just browsing torrents …
So just browsing torrents and this pop-up comes up: “BE WARNED They ARE NOT Attractive They ARE Desperate They ARE in your Area. Meet Them.” It seems like dating websites are really clutching at straws now.
Continue ReadingA recent survey, carried …
A recent survey, carried out in Scotland, proved that the first child to be born in a family is USUALLY the MOST INTELLIGENT child within that particular family. American researchers (not wanting to be outdone) took this study one step forward and proved that the first child to be born in a family is ALWAYS […]
Continue ReadingI like to stand near ATMs …
I like to stand near ATMs. When somebody types in their pin number I shout, “Got it!” and then I run away.
Continue ReadingWhy don’t Jews eat brusse …
Why don’t Jews eat brussel sprouts? It gives them gas
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a fat ch …
What do you call a fat chick with a great personality..? A barrel of laughs.
Continue ReadingFor anyone who doesn’t un …
For anyone who doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about UCAS, just think of it as the student’s version a company similar to Royal Mail: they take your money and then fail to deliver on the day you really need it.
Continue ReadingI’m ashamed to admit that …
I’m ashamed to admit that I’m proud of my contradictory skills.
Continue ReadingA Chinese guy kept making …
A Chinese guy kept making fun of my accent at work. Well, two can pray at that game.
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