My friend faked his own d …
My friend faked his own death to get insurance money by falling into quick-sand. Some people can sink so low…
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I stole my last girlfrien …
I stole my last girlfriend’s heart. Now I’m under cardiac arrest.
Continue ReadingMy mates wife’s car got c …
My mates wife’s car got clamped last night. A friend asked where. “Around the wheel, obviously” came the reply.
Continue ReadingMy wifes leaving me becau …
My wifes leaving me because i always copy her. So i packed my bags and left.
Continue ReadingEveryone congratulated me …
Everyone congratulated me last week for quitting smoking after 30 years. My ex-colleagues at the fishery put on a great retirement party for me.
Continue ReadingHow can you best describe …
How can you best describe the person sleeping over the wet patch? Overcome.
Continue ReadingThe wife took delivery of …
The wife took delivery of a 42″ TV, today. What she wants with a cross dressing midget I’ll never know.
Continue ReadingEvery time I click my fin …
Every time I click my fingers…my PA brings me an cappuccino.
Continue ReadingIf the theory of evolutio …
If the theory of evolution was really true, wouldn’t you think by now Ethiopian children could catch flies with their tongues like lizards?
Continue ReadingThird rule of Fight Club. …
Third rule of Fight Club. Never repeat yourself.
Continue ReadingThe best job in the world …
The best job in the world is a bomb disposal expert. When you think about it you will never remember having a bad day.
Continue ReadingI got a letter in the pos …
I got a letter in the post today telling me how I got on in my recent IQ test. The results were negative.
Continue ReadingBigger is better. Unless …
Bigger is better. Unless it’s a tumour.
Continue ReadingI smashed a computer over …
I smashed a computer over my girlfriend’s head last week. She was asking for IT.
Continue ReadingMy mother is a always try …
My mother is a always trying to outdo me. Last night she walked into the bathroom as I was choking the bishop then, today, she had to go and push the Pope.
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