I was clearing out the ga …
I was clearing out the garage earlier for a car boot sale when I found a broken abacus. “Do you think we could sell that?” my wife asked. “I wouldn’t count on it” I replied.
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It would seem someone has …
It would seem someone has been caught cheating by repeatedly changing their IP address to vote up their own jokes. Does IP mean “Internet Pikey”?
Continue ReadingMy father used to say “I …
My father used to say “I love kids, but I couldn’t eat a full one”. I knew I’d beat my father at something one day
Continue ReadingBBC news: 20 million of r …
BBC news: 20 million of rare diamonds stolen while in transit overnight. That’s a bit stupid, I don’t even keep power tools in my van overnight.
Continue ReadingI ate a Shepherd’s Pie to …
I ate a Shepherd’s Pie today. He was clearly not amused.
Continue ReadingAre you forgetful? Are yo …
Are you forgetful? Are you not rememering where you put things? I made an app for that…. It’s around here somewhere I just have to find it.
Continue ReadingIf God refuses to believe …
If God refuses to believe in other gods, does that make him an atheist?
Continue ReadingI can’t believe my mate m …
I can’t believe my mate managed to fall asleep hanging over the top of a dartboard. He was bent over double.
Continue ReadingA man applied for a job i …
A man applied for a job in a chippy and they asked him, “Have you ever battered a fish?” “No, but I once stamped on a crab.”, he replied.
Continue ReadingIt wasn’t too hard gettin …
It wasn’t too hard getting the White stringy bit of the orange from between my teeth. In fact it was a piece of pith.
Continue ReadingPoliceman pulled me over, …
Policeman pulled me over, said I was going too fast. So I took him to dinner first.
Continue ReadingAs a surprise, a chief ex …
As a surprise, a chief executive’s wife decides to pop by his office. She finds her husband in an unorthodox position, with his attractive secretary sitting in his lap. He immediately spots her and, without hesitation, starts dictating: “And in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office […]
Continue ReadingSky News : ‘See Dannii Mi …
Sky News : ‘See Dannii Minogue’s Baby Boy – On Twitter’. These kids are so advanced these days.
Continue ReadingThat’s Fergie time folks. …
That’s Fergie time folks….
Continue ReadingI’m a Community Support O …
I’m a Community Support Officer, and I’m a fake PC
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