I’ve been quite ill recently and I sent a text message asking my girlfriend if she could cover my regular volunteering position giving out food to the needy, as I didn’t want to let anyone down at the charity. However, due to a small typing error, she ended up spending four hours handing out sandwiches […]
Continue ReadingNew dad Elton John ‘expects prejudice’ …Celebrity baby names are just getting ridiculous now
Continue ReadingWhen I interrupted my husband telling me that his best friend had been killed by pulling up my blouse to reveal a huge pair of control pants, he stormed out of the room in disgust. I don’t know why he was so angry, I was just trying to show him a bit of support.
Continue ReadingDrinking with a speech impediment? It’s whisky business.
Continue ReadingI saw a BMW driver indicating today! I was so shocked, I almost crashed when he pulled out on me.
Continue ReadingSome people wish their pets could talk. I don’t. They might tell.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Man guilty of 40m jeweller’s raid. Men get blamed for everything these days.
Continue ReadingI was at the casino playing poker the other night, and all the people round the table wanted me to get chucked out because I wasnt taking the game seriously enough. Apparently a pikachu and a charizard shiny aren’t as valuable in this game.
Continue ReadingWhen you have friends come for dinner, it’s a very different evening if you add an apostrophe…
Continue ReadingSmirnoff so you can say: I was there or at least thats were I woke up.
Continue ReadingI can’t stand my wife at the minute I’m leaning her against the wall instead
Continue ReadingA film on ITV1 just started. It contains several flashing images. Ironically its called Pitch Black
Continue Reading“About 10 people a week are hospitalized from injuries suffered while playing Wii games.” Now, I can’t help but think that seems a little exaggerated. No one plays Wii anymore.
Continue Reading‘This is the captain speaking. You may now switch on your mobile phones…as you’ll need to text your loved ones before we plummet into the sea.’
Continue ReadingI was so angry when my Blackerry stopped working today I was gonna start a riot! But then I remembered I had a Blackberry, so i couldn’t
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