qjoq.com – Page 692

Yes, breathing, living, eating, having money, and not dying in a horrible way are some things that I’m really glad about. That doesn’t mean I need to be a fan of them.

I went to buy a Kenwood f …

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I went to buy a Kenwood food processor yesterday but it ended in tears. Turns out me and blenders don’t mix.

I’ve got my work cut out …

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I’ve got my work cut out for me tomorrow. It’s in the fridge. I’m a butcher.

The missus swooped in & g …

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The missus swooped in & grabbed the tv remote declaring “Time for my soaps!” “Aww love, I was looking forward to the wrestling!” Anyway, we compromised, I held her in a head lock while Corrie was on.

My old primary school music teacher was involved in a bad accident, so I went to see her in hospital. “She’s in a coma” said the doctor, “But she’s getting better”. “How do you know?” I asked. “One finger, one thumb keep moving. One finger, one thumb keep moving….”

I received a letter today …

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I received a letter today from someone named “Jamal” informing me that they’ve got my wife held hostage and that I have to pay a high ransom fee to get her back. I hate black males.

I was taking a driving le …

May 14qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I was taking a driving lesson today, and my instructor asked, “What should you always do on a One way street?” I said, “Look for women drivers coming down the wrong way.” He said, “Technically no, but that’s a fair point.”