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Sky news: “Hot dogs pose …

June 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Sky news: “Hot dogs pose …

Sky news: “Hot dogs pose risk to children” as they choke on them. Don’t worry, I never let them swallow, i make them spit it out after eating the sausage. ——————————————————– They obviously haven’t met the police, they know to keep hot dogs in cars.

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I was in a packed club la …

June 3qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I was in a packed club la …

I was in a packed club last night, when this girl came over and said: “Fancy a kiss round the back?” “Brilliant” I said, while dropping my trousers and bending over.

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In order to fix the curre …

June 3qjoq.comLeave a Comment on In order to fix the curre …

In order to fix the current problem’s with Zynga and Facebook, go to account, then account status, then ”cancel account.” Then shut down computer, pick it up, slam it against the wall, then go outside and revert back to your previous normal life you had before Facebook and Zynga

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I’m not saying that my Mu …

June 3January 1qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I’m not saying that my Mu …

I’m not saying that my Mum is set in her ways, but when I got her hooked up to the internet the first thing she looked up was teletext.

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“If you can’t beat him on …

June 3qjoq.comLeave a Comment on “If you can’t beat him on …

“If you can’t beat him on the pitch, beat her on the dance floor” -Stewart Downing

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I just quit my job at the …

June 3qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I just quit my job at the …

I just quit my job at the tiddlywink factory…it was counter-productive.

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I find it quite difficult …

June 3January 1qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I find it quite difficult …

I find it quite difficult to feel sorry for the homeless in this type of weather. I mean, its not like I can even see them buried under the 16 inches of snow anyway.

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I connected with a girl a …

June 3qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I connected with a girl a …

I connected with a girl at speed dating called Swan Vesta. As soon as we met, I knew she was a perfect match.

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I’ve placed an order onli …

June 3qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I’ve placed an order onli …

I’ve placed an order online with a music shop in Scotland. I’m looking forward to having my Ayr guitar delivered.

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Corporal punishment in sc …

June 3qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Corporal punishment in sc …

Corporal punishment in schools and domestic violence have a striking resemblance.

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BBC NEWS – Man in farm mu …

June 3qjoq.comLeave a Comment on BBC NEWS – Man in farm mu …

BBC NEWS – Man in farm murder inquiry bailed. As much as I like to see the punishment fitting the crime scenario I’m not sure what throwing blocks of hay at him will achieve.

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Does anybody else here fi …

June 3qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Does anybody else here fi …

Does anybody else here find it ironic that the only time we see fat people run is for the bus?

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I don’t know why people w …

June 3qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I don’t know why people w …

I don’t know why people were giving me strange looks down at the beach just because I was wearing flip-flops. My ears were cold.

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I quit my job at Nike tod …

June 2qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I quit my job at Nike tod …

I quit my job at Nike today. My boss asked me to redesign the ball to make it more edgy.

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The definition of false e …

June 2qjoq.comLeave a Comment on The definition of false e …

The definition of false economy: I spent thirty quid on oysters to get my girlfriend in the mood to swallow the same thing for nothing.

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