I was very impressed at s …
I was very impressed at some of the efforts in the London riots today Some of the kenny from south park costumes were spot on!
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BBC NEWS – UK unemploymen …
BBC NEWS – UK unemployment total on the rise. That now means all the people on the dole can have the jobs that the newly unemployed are leaving. Problem solved!
Continue ReadingI’m disappointed that Gra …
I’m disappointed that Graeme Garden didn’t get a knighthood in the NY honours list, really want his wife to become “Lady Garden”.
Continue Readingyou know you’re a good li …
you know you’re a good lip reader when you watch harry potter muted and know what Snape says.
Continue ReadingI’ve always thought roofs …
I’ve always thought roofs are a bit over the top…
Continue ReadingWas in work the other day …
Was in work the other day and some guy came in, pale, skinny withering hair. He had AIDS written all over him. Strange choice of tattoo I thought.
Continue ReadingI always make an effort t …
I always make an effort to treat my step-son in exactly the same way as a I treat my real son. I haven’t got one, so I ignore him.
Continue ReadingI got the new athletics c …
I got the new athletics channel on my TV. Thought it would be good, but it’s just a load of re-runs.
Continue ReadingTime flies when you want …
Time flies when you want to know which one’s the quickest.
Continue ReadingIf money is the root of a …
If money is the root of all evil, how come I’m skint?
Continue ReadingTwo fish swim into a conc …
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam!”
Continue ReadingMy boss fired me when he …
My boss fired me when he saw me drunk in the street with a cone on my head. He said I should’ve been sober and inside the ice cream van.
Continue ReadingGot a tattoo of a digital …
Got a tattoo of a digital watch on my wrist. I regretted it literally one minute later.
Continue ReadingI decided that I needed t …
I decided that I needed to do something to get me out of the house. So I became a tramp.
Continue ReadingI haven’t been to a cashp …
I haven’t been to a cashpoint for so long I’m getting withdrawl symptoms
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