My wife asked me to take …
My wife asked me to take down the blinds while I was up at the window. So I shot them both in the head, sending the guide dogs fleeing the scene.
Continue ReadingMy wife asked me to take down the blinds while I was up at the window. So I shot them both in the head, sending the guide dogs fleeing the scene.
Continue ReadingGetting my cataracts removed really opened my eyes.
Continue ReadingHow do you make a dead baby float? One scoop of dead baby, one scoop of ice cream, and a pint of ginger ale.
Continue ReadingMy Dad had a stroke yesterday. He’s all right now.
Continue ReadingI was in Portugal a few weeks back when i saw the cutest little 3 year old girl and i found myself thinking, ‘When in Rome…’
Continue ReadingPeople say I’m a bit of a joke killer. But surely if someone knocks on your door you ask them to come in ?
Continue ReadingMy mate just spent an hour and a half sat in one spot desperately trying to put up a tent. Camping noob.
Continue ReadingPretend you are going on a fabulous holiday to Barbados by going to Heathrow and sleeping on the floor.
Continue ReadingI hate pedantic people. Well, when I say hate, I mean I have a strong disliking of them, and by people, I mean those amongst my friends, family, and acquaintances.
Continue ReadingI had a job interview at London Midland today. I walked into the room then straight out. They got that impressed that I was asked if I could start immediately
Continue ReadingBilly Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I […]
Continue ReadingTeenage pregnancy and drug use rates are rising. No wonder this year’s biology and chemistry exam results reached a record high.
Continue ReadingIf that emo kid next door doesn’t stop playing the drums, there’ll be serious repercussions.
Continue ReadingRaisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies is the main reason why I have trust issues
Continue ReadingMy little sister asked me what she should get for unzipping. I told her a fiver was pretty reasonable. In the end though, she just used WinZip. And stopped talking to me.
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