There’s a new shop down m …
There’s a new shop down my street that specializes in clothing for obese people. They have a wide range of everything.
Continue ReadingThere’s a new shop down my street that specializes in clothing for obese people. They have a wide range of everything.
Continue ReadingIf you want to know how many bees Noah had… check the Ark Hives
Continue ReadingMy butler died of hearing loss. He walked through the valet of deaf.
Continue ReadingIs it more offensive telling my black friend that she smells like my dog, or telling my dog she smells like a black person?
Continue ReadingI finally managed to teach my dog to beg. Last night he came home with fifty pounds.
Continue ReadingHow gutted are them Chillian miners going to feel when they realise they have to go back to work next week
Continue ReadingBBC News – Brotherhood ‘to join Egypt talks’ I didn’t know Ezio Auditore had an interest in politics
Continue ReadingMe and my mates have started leaving bombs next to the tills in corner shops. We’re a ‘Counter Terrorist Group’.
Continue ReadingI feel so sorry for the parents of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman. I mean, having your daughter brutally murdered in a school caretaker’s bathroom is one thing. But I don’t know how they’ll ever find the strength to come to terms with finding out that a journalist has listened to their voicemail.
Continue ReadingMy wife and I had to run to the shops for five minutes, and so we left our four-year-old son unattended with a jigsaw to keep him amused. Imagine our surprise when we came back to discover he had sawn off four of his fingers.
Continue ReadingMy mate can scale walls really fast but most people want plaster not fish skin.
Continue ReadingWhat is the most common way to end your life? Get married.
Continue ReadingI joined 3 golf clubs today. Now I can practice my putting in the garden from the upstairs bedroom window.
Continue ReadingI’ve just landed a duty free job at Heathrow airport I can’t believe I’m going to get paid for doing nothing.
Continue ReadingIt’s said that if we don’t heed the lessons from history, then we are destined to repeat the same mistakes. Not me! I always make sure I clear mine, ever since the wife read my last one.
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