My brother used to be a g …
My brother used to be a gangsta rapper. He once covered Ronnie Kray in cling film.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
A good short joke on sick …
A good short joke on sickipedia means only one thing. You will receive it as a text message a day later.
Continue ReadingMy Dad blames me for his …
My Dad blames me for his descent into the filthy world of kerb crawling. He’s got a point really; I did sell his wheelchair on e-bay.
Continue ReadingEddie Stobart died of a h …
Eddie Stobart died of a heart attack, Apparently he got the freight of his life.
Continue ReadingSome really confident peo …
Some really confident people say, ‘Nothing is impossible’ They clearly have not tried to staple water to a tree!
Continue ReadingI asked my wife, “Do you …
I asked my wife, “Do you remember that road safety advert ‘Charley says’?” “God yes,” she giggled, “Meow meow miaow miaow meow.” “Well,” I replied, “that wasn’t the noise next door’s kitten made when I ran it over.”
Continue ReadingI’ve just read a book on …
I’ve just read a book on Stephen Hawking. He kept telling me to get off his knee.
Continue ReadingLady Gaga is re-releasing …
Lady Gaga is re-releasing one of her hits as a tribute to Gary Barlow “Stillborn This Way”
Continue ReadingIt’s been a bad day, I’ve …
It’s been a bad day, I’ve just been told by the doctor that I’m allergic to my deodorant. Oh well, roll-on tomorrow.
Continue ReadingI’ve just been invited to …
I’ve just been invited to a knees up. Or as my girlfriend calls it, accompanying her to the gynaecologist.
Continue ReadingSo glad the saying ‘YOLO’ …
So glad the saying ‘YOLO’ came out, I was thinking we got a second shot at this thing!
Continue ReadingPrisoners have built a re …
Prisoners have built a replica of the large hadron collider to try and break out of prison. Police describe it as a real concern.
Continue ReadingThcratchcard, thoup, toma …
Thcratchcard, thoup, tomatoth, potatoth, thpaghetti, thereal, orange juith, newthpaper. Right, that’s my shopping lisp done, I’m off to Tesco.
Continue ReadingThe wife tried to ‘cheese …
The wife tried to ‘cheese me off’ last night. She’s started experimenting with dairy products in the bedroom.
Continue ReadingI was standing outside a …
I was standing outside a bar smoking last night when a policeman grabbed me by the leg, dragged me to his car and told me I was under arrest. “You can’t drag me along like this!” “I’m only pulling your leg, mate!”
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