I saw a seahorse for the …
I saw a seahorse for the first time in my life today. Somebody flooded the stables.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
As a child I always wante …
As a child I always wanted to grow up to be a waiter. But im far too impatient.
Continue ReadingI took the wife for a wal …
I took the wife for a walk in the local park this morning, you should have seen the filthy looks I was getting from the public. Not sure what their problem was…. she was wearing a muzzle and I never let her off the leash.
Continue ReadingMy wife has rather annoyi …
My wife has rather annoyingly replaced all the lightbulbs in the house with energy efficient ones. I’ll never see her in the same light again.
Continue ReadingI see that homeless peopl …
I see that homeless people are becoming a bigger and bigger topic in election debates. You could say that they’re becoming a “Big Issue”.
Continue ReadingWas watching ‘Dynamo, Mag …
Was watching ‘Dynamo, Magician Impossible’ the other day. Must say I found what I was watching to be astonishing, and beyond belief. I mean, he says he’s from Bradford and he isn’t a Paki. Who’s going to believe that?
Continue ReadingI’m not saying my brother …
I’m not saying my brother’s stupid, but he thought Stigmata was Juan Mata’s Swedish half-brother.
Continue ReadingI don’t really believe in …
I don’t really believe in scepticism.
Continue ReadingWent for Indian last nigh …
Went for Indian last night and the food didn’t agree with me. Full credit to it for making coversation though.
Continue ReadingI couldn’t believe it whe …
I couldn’t believe it when the local pizza shop accused me of taking advantage of their all you can eat on one plate offer. And to add insult to injury, they even billed me for having to clean some tomato and pineapple off the ceiling.
Continue ReadingI hate left-handed scisso …
I hate left-handed scissors. Something about them just isn’t right.
Continue ReadingI came home from work and …
I came home from work and my wife was waiting with my credit card bill. She asked me, “Why is there a 600 charge to the strip club?” I calmly replied, “I got jacked” She got extremely concern then and asked me “Oh my god! Really?” I said, “Yeah, they tend to charge extra for […]
Continue ReadingI sat down with my young …
I sat down with my young son today to introduce him to news programmes, you know educate him from an early age. The bright colours and the simple language are really useful for him. I’m glad we have programmes like ITV news for our kids.
Continue ReadingMy daughter’s school teac …
My daughter’s school teacher rang me today. “Young Sarah didn’t turn up for school today?” he said. “I know, her mother died yesterday,” I replied. “So she won’t be back for a while.” “Sorry to hear that,” he sighed. “How’s she getting on?” “Very well,” I replied. “She’s on her third lot of laundry and […]
Continue ReadingMy friend told me that i …
My friend told me that i didn’t understand sarcasm. I ignored him because i knew he was being sarcastic.
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