The kids at school used t …
The kids at school used to make me wear a sticker to school telling everyone I was a geek. The teachers never showed any interest until they started making me wear a swotsticker.
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My mate received an email …
My mate received an email yesterday asking him to send trouser zips to the address provided. I told him to ignore it, it sounds like they are fly phishing.
Continue ReadingI’m really starting to ge …
I’m really starting to get the hang of suicide.
Continue ReadingA famous American proverb …
A famous American proverb states; ‘Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get’ I’d have thought even the dumbest American could work out what they might get inside a box of CHOCOLATES
Continue ReadingQ: Where do ducks do coca …
Q: Where do ducks do cocaine? A: In a quack den!
Continue ReadingDear Tabloid Agony Aunt, …
Dear Tabloid Agony Aunt, I keep seeking out advice for serious issues from dangerously under-qualified people. What do you suggest I do?
Continue ReadingThe wife just said, “Show …
The wife just said, “Show me what you’re made of, big boy!” So I gave her a bucket of offal.
Continue ReadingI thought it’d be a great …
I thought it’d be a great idea to buy my hamster some dumbbells, but it didn’t work out.
Continue Readingwhat is up with all the g …
what is up with all the ginger jokes on Sickipedia? God already hates them, you don’t have to make it worse.
Continue ReadingSome bloke from social se …
Some bloke from social services knocked at my door yesterday. He said, “We’ve reason to believe that meals on wheels have been getting delivered here for the last six months”. “That’s correct”, I replied. He said, “You don’t look 72yrs of age to me?” “Everyone says that” I replied, “But I’ve been eating really well […]
Continue ReadingIf the people of Belfast …
If the people of Belfast want to get rid of the Romanians Why dont they just expose them to sunlight as they sleep in their coffins? Job done!
Continue ReadingMy wife said she’s leavin …
My wife said she’s leaving me because I’m a “self-loving narcissist”. Jokes on her, ‘self-loving narcissist’ is redundant. I wouldn’t have made that mistake.
Continue ReadingHave you ever stopped to …
Have you ever stopped to think, there could be a Chameleon right next to you…
Continue ReadingThe thought of people fig …
The thought of people fighting over the last Chocolate Orange is Terry vying.
Continue ReadingMy mate is a tree surgeon …
My mate is a tree surgeon. He’s lost many patients who simply refused to climb up there.
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