Author: qjoq.com

In hindsight, I shouldn’t have picked “DJ Orange” as my stage name. I can’t find anyone to rhyme with me.

I’ve deserted my wife. I threw a pudding in her face.

My Granddad used to put a ball in one of three cups and then move them round. Then I had to guess which one it was in. I said, “Doesn’t that hurt?”

I told my parents I could do better on my exams if they bought me some eels from the aquarium. I ended up getting Morays.

I applied for a job in the accidental joke centre the other day. “So, Dave. Do you think you are qualified?” I was asked. “To some degree,” I said.

Worst piece of advice about life Amy Winehouse ever received: You just need to get back on the horse.