Author: qjoq.com

My vegetarian mate broke up with his girlfriend the other day. I told him “Don’t worry, there’s plenty more vegetables in the coma ward.”

I’m trying to battle my addiction to roundabouts. Unfortunately, I’m not getting very far.

I see Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt has offended the Hillsborough victims by suggesting hooliganism played a part. After so much effort in striving for justice, I bet they’re all crushed.

My wife used to just nod and smile at my Bukkake jokes, mainly because she didn’t know what it meant … But then one day, it hit her.

Me and my wife watched three films back to back last night. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.

Sky News: Girl of 5 crushed my automatic gate Tributes in the form of flowers, cards and teddies have been left on the gate which crushed her. Do they really think making the gate look more attractive to young children will stop this happening again?!

I was on the beach early this morning, looking for hidden treasure. As I swept my new gadget across the sand, it started beeping, so I got my shovel and started digging, hoping to find gold. It was a very disappointing haul. I uncovered a carrot wrapped in bacon, a cat with a machete through […]

“So you are saying that the there’s actually a word for something that means exact in terms and without vagueness?” my friend asked, flabbergasted. “Precisely.” I replied.