What would Data’s evil tw …
What would Data’s evil twin be called? Corrupted Data.
Continue ReadingWhat would Data’s evil twin be called? Corrupted Data.
Continue ReadingSock + Sandle = Beard
Continue ReadingAn internet survery keeps asking me whether or not i’m single. No youtube, i’m sitting here on my friday evening watching babies laugh because my stunning girlfriend is out of town.
Continue ReadingI’ve recently found out that YOLO is an acronym for ‘You Only Live Once’. I’m not really a fan of that, so I’ve started using make an acronym for ‘Seize The Day’ instead.
Continue ReadingI was sat next to a fat black woman who looked pregnant in the doctors waiting room today. I said “What are you having?” She went ‘ape’
Continue ReadingI asked my mate for a second opinion. He said, “Well I-” -“Whoa” I said, “Times up.”
Continue ReadingI’m starring in a new theatrical drama called ‘Sword’. It’s a play on words.
Continue ReadingI robbed a greengrocers earlier. But my efforts were fruitless.
Continue ReadingJust took my pet ostrich on a beach holiday, cant help thinking hes not getting the most out of it!!
Continue ReadingI live within a stones throw of my local police station.. Which is handy.
Continue ReadingI had a fight with a bricklayer earlier….. I levelled him.
Continue ReadingYou know you have a cruel streak when you put a pair of ladies trousers into a charity collection bag destined for the Sudan.
Continue ReadingGood to see the red balloon playing again last night – wore the number 23 this week…
Continue ReadingAt school I wanted to be in the cross country team, so asked the coach if I could join. “Have you got any stamina?” he asked. I said “Not really to be honest.” “Forget it then” he replied, “Without stamina, you’ve no chance in the long run.”
Continue ReadingThis year I’m going on holiday in the Off-Peak District. Much cheaper.
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