My family was trying to decide where to eat last night. My Mum and Sister wanted Chinese but Me and my Dad wanted Indian. As the football was on we decided that our team won we’d go Chinese but if we lost, we’d go Indian….. …..It ended in a Thai
Continue ReadingMy mum said I used to cry wolf a lot as a child, but what did she expect? It was her who took me to Gladiators and she knew he was my favourite.
Continue ReadingMy dad hit the dog with his slippers, I dont know whats worse, Him hitting the dog, Or the dog having slippers.
Continue ReadingTheres this group on Facebook right, Treat your Girlfriend how you treat your xbox and xbox games. play with it for a bit, till i get bored and sell it in for hard cash, punch it when i get frustrated, and when the 3 red lights come on, i immediately ring Mr gates and get […]
Continue ReadingWhat do you get if you cross a bridge with a car? To the other side.
Continue ReadingMy neighbour has just walked past with two dogs. I said, “I didn’t know you had any dogs.” She said, “They’re not my dogs, they’re my sisters.” I said, “Your sisters are very ugly.”
Continue ReadingI’ve always lived by the motto my mum once told me, “Never go to bed angry.” I stay awake and plot my revenge.
Continue ReadingI don’t take orders from anyone. Which is most probably why my restaurant went bust.
Continue ReadingI thought there would be no end to my very rare eating disorder but the doctor suggested I go to this work out group and there I met other people who ate Willows, Beeches and Elms. It seems to be working.. It’s been three weeks now and I’m tree total.
Continue ReadingI hate admitting that my jokes have been buried, it sounds so final. I prefer to say that theyve gone on holiday to Brazil.
Continue ReadingI told my family about this website…now none of them are speaking to me.
Continue ReadingI received some shocking news after peeing on an electric fence.
Continue ReadingMy mate said to me “Hey, I saw your missus down at the car boot sale this morning. She drives a hard bargain!” “Don’t be stupid, it’s a Nissan Micra” I replied.
Continue ReadingI’ve just sent my mate a carbon copy of an e-mail. It took him a half-life to open it.
Continue ReadingBBC News- ‘openness demanded over oil spills’ Isn’t that what caused them in the first place?
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