My wife has left me becau …
My wife has left me because of my obsession with battleships. Its never happened B4
Continue ReadingMy wife has left me because of my obsession with battleships. Its never happened B4
Continue ReadingI finally went on a road trip with my wife. It was only down to the supermarket, but at least this time she kept the car off the pavement.
Continue Reading12.5cm of people hate inaccurate statistics
Continue ReadingThe General Rule of People you meet on the internet: -Single -Attractive -Mentally Stable (Pick two)
Continue Reading“Have you heard the joke about no and me neither?” “No?” “Me neither.”
Continue ReadingMy friend has made a new type of birdbox to help new birds fledge. Can’t really see it taking off.
Continue ReadingBy using my employee discount at work I’ve managed to make a profit However, it turns out theres ‘No such thing’ as employees discount at the Bank of England and I am now in jail
Continue ReadingI hate the old tramp who lives under the railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
Continue ReadingI need some advice on what could be a life changing decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my Mrs has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out ‘with the girls’ a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always […]
Continue ReadingI went to the Q Awards last night. It took me three hours to get in.
Continue ReadingI was chatting affably with the Italian waiter in the Trattoria last night. After the main course he asked. ‘And what do you do senor?’ ‘Oh, i’m just a litigation lawyer’ I replied. His eyes lit up, and he said. ‘Then for dessert, may i recommend mama’s home made suet pudding.’
Continue Readingi went for a colonoscopy yesterday and was quite worried, but luckily i got the thumbs up.
Continue ReadingMy wife makes a nice sandwich. Next I think I’ll eat the mother-in-law.
Continue ReadingIt was brilliant seeing him again after all these months and even some of the neighbours popped round with a bottle of bubbly to celebrate. We think he may have been drunk when he said it though? But the postman’s now promised he might come again in a couple of weeks.
Continue ReadingI was telling my fiance about the guys at work – how they’re always putting me down saying timing just isn’t my strong suit. “If you could just recite your vows, please” interrupted the vicar.
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