My wife has left me becau …
My wife has left me because of my obsession with battleships. Its never happened B4
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I finally went on a road …
I finally went on a road trip with my wife. It was only down to the supermarket, but at least this time she kept the car off the pavement.
Continue Reading12.5cm of people hate ina …
12.5cm of people hate inaccurate statistics
Continue ReadingThe General Rule of Peopl …
The General Rule of People you meet on the internet: -Single -Attractive -Mentally Stable (Pick two)
Continue Reading“Have you heard the joke …
“Have you heard the joke about no and me neither?” “No?” “Me neither.”
Continue ReadingMy friend has made a new …
My friend has made a new type of birdbox to help new birds fledge. Can’t really see it taking off.
Continue ReadingBy using my employee disc …
By using my employee discount at work I’ve managed to make a profit However, it turns out theres ‘No such thing’ as employees discount at the Bank of England and I am now in jail
Continue ReadingI hate the old tramp who …
I hate the old tramp who lives under the railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
Continue ReadingI need some advice on wha …
I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my Mrs has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out ‘with the girls’ a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always […]
Continue ReadingI went to the Q Awards la …
I went to the Q Awards last night. It took me three hours to get in.
Continue ReadingI was chatting affably wi …
I was chatting affably with the Italian waiter in the Trattoria last night. After the main course he asked. ‘And what do you do senor?’ ‘Oh, i’m just a litigation lawyer’ I replied. His eyes lit up, and he said. ‘Then for dessert, may i recommend mama’s home made suet pudding.’
Continue Readingi went for a colonoscopy …
i went for a colonoscopy yesterday and was quite worried, but luckily i got the thumbs up.
Continue ReadingMy wife makes a nice sand …
My wife makes a nice sandwich. Next I think I’ll eat the mother-in-law.
Continue ReadingIt was brilliant seeing h …
It was brilliant seeing him again after all these months and even some of the neighbours popped round with a bottle of bubbly to celebrate. We think he may have been drunk when he said it though? But the postman’s now promised he might come again in a couple of weeks.
Continue ReadingI was telling my fiance a …
I was telling my fiance about the guys at work – how they’re always putting me down saying timing just isn’t my strong suit. “If you could just recite your vows, please” interrupted the vicar.
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